Being polite-is it a sign of defeat

Now a days,i am not at all happy my minds are going here and there. I need to acheive all the things at a time. i don't want to wait or to be sorry of not acting and reacting at the time when required.As not having much experienced and confident about the day to today need and requirement, i usually end up with making wrong decisions. I tried to improve but learnt only how to be miser but not to be happy. Actually am very greedy and want so much than what am having and earning. I criticise myself of not doing and missing so many opportunities. When it required to be fast and effective i was slow and lazy and was thinking of something else.

now i am thinking of UPSC, i don't know whether i will get it or not but I am sure after getting this also, my soul will demand more.

i get bored of everything soon and want change always.


the only one thing which make me happy is reading books so that i am thinking that i am not wasting any moment and will be ready for any consequences if am facing in future. Books will never cheat me and will remain with me all the time and will never speak any word of my caliber ever. So, electronics items, books are my favourite frns.

I don't have any best frn but i help all my frns equally but always think twice to take help from them and ask them for any favour.

Now a days i am not feeling well getting angry for small small things and if any1 joking i am taking it as serious.
And thinking of defeat if am not speaking in a manner of tit for tat if getting poked to speak.

i don't know whether i am correct? but want to happy atleast with me not with any1.

God, pls help me so that i stop getting upset and can make every1 happy surround me as earlier.


Thanks,

Abhishek